Potato is yum

So you want to have fun playing the single greatest game of first person chess? Well. That’s great because this guide is made just for you. To start with you need two important things. You first need to find the worst webcam microphone possible. Next, you need to learn an optimal way to play the game.

The most difficult part of this guide is defining what fun even means. Winning? Maybe. Getting kills? Sure. Cursing out teammates? Hell yeah. Throwing the game? Up to you. Well, there’s one strategy that can do all of these things at once. It’s called the mid rush. No matter if you’re T or CT run it down mid every round. How is it fun? Well running it down mid is actually a winning strategy in most cases. Does it get you kills? Hell yeah it does. Curse out teammates? You can curse out that idiot who is sitting in window and didn’t trade you when you died top mid. And if they get mad tell them I said you could do it. They shouldn’t have missed that awp shot. Throwing the game? Rushing too far up mid is throwing so just keep running forward through mid if you don’t see anyone peeking mid. Simple way to throw.

How do you flame your teammates? The best way is to learn some russian or chinese. Actually, chinese is getting more common so I would recommend that. Ragebaiting and cursing is a very difficult art form and takes thousands of hours to manifest in a usable manner. The best way to get better is to start earlier. In fact, this is exactly what valve’s goal is with cases. Start them young they say. I too think you can get a knife next case. 99% of gamblers quit before they win big.

Are you tired of premier? Well so am I. Instead join me on competitive office. Competitive office is a work of art that is worth studying. I too sometimes lodge a vending machine in a door using a machinegun to push it over. What? You’ve never seen a bulletproof vending machine? Pfft. You’re missing out. Office is the perfect map for me to let out all my frustrations from working every day. Just by trashing my workplace I can already feel the large quantities of dopamine flooding into my brain. It’s great.

So the real question is why do you want to have fun playing counterstrike? The fact you’re playing this game means you’re suffering. It’s okay. You’re not the only one. I’m also trapped in the addiction.